
i have been sufferin frm pains fer a period of time.. i knw i sld get a check up,but... dere are reasons to y im afraid of oin fer a check up.. i knw i dunn wanna die.. im still veri young,and if i got to knw tat im sufferin frm illneses i'll lose every single hope i have... i knw it may seem easy to euu ppl to jus sae go fer a check up.. but yet do euu ppl knw how much fear i have in me? if after the check up,i found out tat i have cancer or wad, den i wont be able to smile,joke and pretend tat nth had happen... i can do tat now, cause im not sure of my condition,but if i were to knw thw outcome... im afraid i'll jus lose hope and reject any form of treatment and help... the fear deep down in me... wont and cant be comprehand by the ppl hu cares fer me... i knw euu all care... but i reli... its hard to explain and understand,euu ppl are not ME euu ppl wont understand... euu may tink im speakin nonsence and rubbish here but i knw wad's deep in me tat im thinkin bout:( if i've anger euu all... im sorri den,cause i didnt mean to anger all of euu with my stubborness.. if euu all wanna be angry den derre's nth i can do to stop...last nite,the pain was so terrible tat i tout i was goin to jus leave lyk tat, but i actually managed to wake up in the mornin... i pray to FATHER tat he'll watch over me and bless me with his spirit,i pray tat he'll heal me of all sicknesses with his healin hands.. i hope and believed tat FATHER heard my prayers and would allow me to carry on livin... i reli dunn wanna leave... i wanna do much more things and accomplish dreams...i reli need the courage...