CLARICE(:

I reli dunn understand why all these had to come back after all the hard work i've put in... I used to give in sooo much that i truly forgot myself, i used to be that stupid to do everyth fer you, all i can think about is you, all i wanna sae are the words thta i wanna sae to you... this is the 3rd time in 2 straight days in a row. Why have you become lyk that? Why have you changed back to the old you, who doesnt knws how to appreciate me, who doesnt knw how to love me?!?!? Is that gonna come back again? I reli hate it! Someone, once old me this:" stop giving and start receivin my friend." Yes, just when i satrted receivin all these had to happen again, its all back to square one now! Yes i've fallen soooo badly, that it hurts sooo much!!! Im there fer you durin your toughest moments and days.. Iam what i am today, to be fierce cause you trained me to be one! i hate guys cause of you! Now that you're gonna finish goin thru your toughest moments are you gonna forget what i've done fer you? Am i just a tool? You've been throwin your tantrums and attitudes to me recently, i tout you were only lyk that cause of the ndp thingy, but now that its over, you got even worse! What am is supposed to so? You said that im unreasonable, buut have you ever tought of the things and the tone yo said and used against me? it hurts terribly!!! Although im sick now, the pain im experiencing is not as much as i get from you... No one has hurt me so deeply other than my dad, you're the second one... Recently, i kept quiet not because i admit im in the wrong! But because, i was toooo tired to talk to a person lyk you, you said to me at least i sld give you a chance to reason out, but how ca i reason things out with you, when you're someone who doesnt even knw reasons? im sick!!!! And look at what have you got to sae to me? you:" why go polyclinic? so slow? have to wait damn bloody long?" me:" no choice caus eits free, then what you want me to do? go private? who pay? you?" you:" fer what? waste money! i rather spend the money on other things than pay for the private clinic fees!" Your selfishness and everyth make me reli sick and tired!!! How am i supposed to handle you?! Can someone teach me how to do it? I bet you didnt knw that everynight before i sleep i wld pray to Father, to bless our r/s and let everything go on smoothly... how stupid can i be to be prayin fer such things rite? i bet you ppl must be laughin at me.. I hate it, when you always sae you're sorri and yet you repeat the same old mistakes again and again! It reli made my heart broke to pieces!!! tell me how much must i do to earn what i deserve? im soooo sick and those words reli "treated" me thanks ya! i dunno what am i goin to do next or what shall i do? But one thing fer sure i knw is that, im feeling damn awful now! why are girls always the ones to be hurt?